Mezozoic Monsters

Okay the characters are Dill,Ben,Jake,Drake and a bunch of random people Dill's weapon is an Ak47 Ben's weapon is a longsword Jake's is a Minigun and Drake has a battle axe they all have a pistol with them.

The storyline is that these guys were flying in a cool jet then the jet crashed on a weird island with every dinosaur there ever was. First post must carry on from what I write down


Drake: Cool we're flying.
Ben: I see an Island
Dill: The plane is loosing altitude!
Passengers: WHAT!!! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!
CRASSH
Drake: Are we alive.
Dill: Yes but I don't no for how long.
Jake: I here a roar...
Ben: Tiger?
Dill: No Its its a DINOSAUR!!!
Jake: Dinosaur your full of crap.
Ben: I think I see a raptor.
Soldier: Shoot it.
Jake: Oh god he is raptor food.
Raptor: [Crunch Crunch Crunch]
Passenger:Lets get out of here!!

I don't want to be mean, but perhaps you should wait with making an RP. Your RP skills aren't very good. The reactions of the characters are unrealistic to. For example, first they scream and the next scentance Jake sais he hears a roar. This is just not right. In a plane crash, you're not gonn be like "Hey, guys! I heard a roar! Yipeee!" Also, you don't even describe the characters, you just give us names. With names, we have no idea how the characters even are. Anyone who wants to make a decent RP should describe his characters well. (That means more than this for example: "Jacob is a blond haired boy." It should be more like this: "Jacob is a 13 year old blond haired boy. He can be a little stuborn from time to time, but is usualy able to keep himself under control." And even that is to short!) Describing they way they look and the clothes they usualy wear is a great place to start. Describing thier personaility is another important thing. I made a pretty good RP on another forum you can use as an example. Here's the link: (Also, check out the character's forms. A good RP needs goood forms.)
http://forum.spore.com/jforum/posts/list/75078.page
*Sighs...* The good old invasion. I remember the times when it was so popular...
Huh, what? Your RP? Oh, right. So, use it as an example.
Another thing that doesn't make any sence is that Ben imidiently suggests it would be a T.rex. Isn't it supposed to be a secret that these creatures are alive?! In real life, a preson would more likely suggest a Lion or a Tiger, as those animals roar very loud. But what makes even less sence is that Dill identified the roar as a Giganotosaurus'. First of all, they are not supposed to know there are Prehistoric creatures hidden on some island. Second of all, they haven't seen one of these creatures yet. They don't know how they sound at all. Even if it was a Giganotosaurus, Dill would have no clue of what it is.

Hope this helps so you don't make the same mistakes in the future. Personaly, I put a lott of time in this single post, so I'm hoping you follow my advice.